Ohh lamanya tak datang sini haaa. Lama sungguh. Tapi tak kisah, sebab ni my private writing corner, kalau rasa nak tulis baru datang hehee. Ohh okay okay, nak start tulis ni.
It's a freaking 8 degrees out there. EIGHT!!! How am I supposed to rely to only my body fat? I can die of a heart attack arghhhh Beku lah jawabnya nak gi kelas jap lagi. Haihh, dalam bilik ni pun shivering dah ni. *Itu lah, awal winter haritu gatal tak nak beli heater, sekarang rasa lah* T-T
When someone is badmouthing you, you can't help but to feel reallly bad, nangis-nangis sikit kalau you're a girl (lelaki pun ada jugak kot) and terasaaa sangat-sangat dengan apa yang orang tu cakap and you will start comparing yourself to their talking. Well, for me, if that person yang mengata aku tu is someone yang aku takpernahjumpadia/takkenaldia/takkawandengandia/dia siapa?/tahsapatahkatfacebooktu, then, I probably will ignore it (but marah-marah la jugak for a moment sebab, 'apahal dia ni, gila ke ape?') because that person is not a bit significant to me.
Tapiii, it's a whole different case if that someone is in your circle of friends. Tak friends pun tak apa lah, at least someone you know, or talked to at least once. The impact bila diorang cakap benda-benda tak baik about yourself (literally cakap or text, fb, whatever) you will feel like, 'Oh my god, betul ke aku macam tu selama ni, kenapa aku tasdf waaaaaaaaaaa....' (mengalir lah air mata perempuan/lelaki korang) sebab benda tu hit you in your face. Serious rasa macam kena tampar kat muka sebab dah la you know that person, and suddenly hearing they talked about you like that walaupun selama ni you tak buat jahat pun kat dia (kalau buat jahat kat dia takyah la nak drama kalau dia mengata korang, memang patut pun, so buat lah baik kepada semuaa C: ) I've experienced it, and it was painful. A few days jugak lah macam tak betul sikit, berfikir, teruk sangat ke aku ni etc etc. But Alhamdulillah, since I got the words straight from her, verbally, face to face, to me only, (I think so. Dunia ku menjadi gelap tatkala aku menerima berita itu daripada mulutnya Ececee :p ) I take that she is trying to correct my wrongs that I didn't realize doing. Since that moment, I've learnt so hard to make the best poker face ever (especially when I dislike/bored with something but it's too rude to point it out at that moment).
I guess bad things that happened to you in the past affect your character as much as it affects your principle in life. I was lucky my bad memories are all solved at last I suppose, I haven't been betrayed badly by anyone. Ada tu ada, tapi small matter, dah tak pandang dah.
What if you're so badly betrayed by the person you trust, and not just one person but many, and among them, includes your own family?
Bersyukur lah dengan nikmat kawan dan kepercayaan yang Allah bagi kalau korang tak pernah kena macam tu. Kalau pernah, berdoa kepadaNya supaya diberikan kekuatan untuk melalui dugaan ni. Ingat, Allah tidak akan menduga hambanya yang tidak mampu (yakni tak boleh handle the problems) Siapa yang Allah duga, maknanya Allah care pasal dia, Allah nak tengok, mampukah hamba aku ini bersabar. Bukan semua orang Allah ambil perhatian macam tu tau.
Wallahualam, nak pergi kelas dah :)
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